


Lean On Me

by babybab95



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-09-29 03:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 13,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17195639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babybab95/pseuds/babybab95
Summary: Bobby never thought of a better time to propose to Junhoe, his boyfriend of 5 years. However, Junhoe's unexpected rejection and a twist of events lead to a series of misunderstandings. Ultimately, will their true love prevail and win against all odds?





	1. KJH

**Author's Note:**

> Jinhwan and Junhoe just celebrated their 1st Year Anniversary as a couple.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_"Hyung, get your shinning ass out of bed already!"_

 

Junhoe drew the curtains and a glow of sunshine instantly filled his cosy room, its rays striking Jinhwan's small curled figure. Seeing that the elder gave no response, Junhoe went over and gave Jinhwan a playful smack on his butt.

 

_"Owwwww!""_ Jinhwan grimaced, his hands rubbing his naked bottoms.

 

_"Hyung, we're supposed to meet the gang at the beach today! It's our yearly picnic date!"_   Junhoe exclaimed.

 

_"5 minutes more..."_ Jinhwan drawled. 

 

Junhoe rolled his eyes. He was more than familiar with this response Jinhwan gave him every day. _How on earth does Yunhyeong cope with Hanbin?_ Jinhwan was a hard one to wake, but everyone knew that Hanbin was the real challenge. A sudden thought hit Junhoe and a smirk creep up his face.

 

_"Hyung, do you need to be aroused?"_

 

Jinhwan shifted a little but Junhoe jumped and sprawled on him before he could respond.

 

_"KOO----OWWW!!"_

 

Junhoe's hands were already around Jinhwan's gem, fingering its shaft gently. 

 

_"Let me sleep!!!"_ Jinhwan rebutted but he could feel his precious starting to tingle at Junhoe's delicate touch. 

 

_"FUCKKKKKKKKKK."_

 

_"Aroused enough now? "_ Junhoe chuckled.

 

_"Damn you Junhoe, you're not doing this early in the morning!!"_

 

_"You're awake now"_   Junhoe whispered playfully and his deep voice resonated in Jinhwan's ear. Jinhwan winced but he couldn't deny Junhoe's sexy touch.

 

_"Bobby will be there today, right? "_

 

Junhoe froze at the mention of Bobby and shifted his gaze from Jinhwan to the floor.

 

_Jiwon hyung. It almost slipped his mind._

 

_"I.... I don't... I don't know."_ Junhoe lied in pretence.

 

_"He just returned from the US yesterday, I saw his Instagram post. I'm sure Donghyuk will bring him along today."_   Jinhwan said as-a-matter-of-factly.

 

_Of course, he's Jiwon hyung's boyfriend now._

 

_"I guess Ji-Bobbyy hyung will come then."_ Junhoe replied in an unwilling manner, taking Jinhwan by surprise.

 

_"Is everything okay?"_ Jinhwan gave a puzzled look at Junhoe's sudden change of tone.

 

_"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. I'll go pack the snacks for our picnic."_   Junhoe crawled out of bed, wanting to avoid any further questions from the elder.

 

Jinhwan didn't know, and Junhoe never intended to tell Jinhwan about his painful past. They just celebrated their 1st year anniversary as boyfriends the week ago and Jinhwan finally agreed to move in.

 

_I must not ruin this relationship._

_Not again._

 

Sneaking a glance behind his back, he saw Jinhwan tidying the bed sheets happily.

 

_No, he couldn't hurt this hyung too._


	2. The Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby proposes to Junhoe, on the former's birthday.

3 YEARS AGO

__

 

Clanngggggg.

 

A silver ring fell from the humongous slice of chocolate cake Junhoe was heartily feasting on. Junhoe could see a string quartet forming in front of him, playing to the song of Im Jae Bum's 'Confession'. Junhoe found himself helplessly glued to his seat, his body frozen in shock, heart thumping hard. Beside him, Bobby was already down on one knee, prompting Junhoe to accept the bouquet of 99 roses he held up with both hands.

 

 _Noooo wayyyyyyyyyy._ Junhoe opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. Memories of how he met his first love in high school flashed through his mind - he had never met anyone like Bobby before. His laughter, his smile, his eyes, they were so captivating. Junhoe fell in love with Bobby at first sight when Bobby started rapping with his husky voice at their high school orientation camp. Bobby was in senior year of their arts school then and he was well known for his unique rap style. When he learnt that Bobby was assigned to share the same tent as him that night, Junhoe was enthralled and he asked for Bobby's number, naturally.

 

_"Hey babe. You alive?"_

 

Bobby flashed his brightest smile and looked at Junhoe with smiling eyes. His boyfriend clearly didn't see this coming. It was the best surprise he could give Junhoe, and also the best birthday present Bobby could ever gift himself. Junhoe snapped back to reality and his eyes narrowed on the bouquet of roses. The chorus of 'Confession' started playing and Junhoe bent down to meet Bobby at eye level. So many thoughts were whirling in his mind.

 

 _Accept it._  His heart said. _No, I shouldn't_. His mind fought back.

 

_"I.. I love you so much, hyung."_

 

Junhoe took the bouquet of flowers from Bobby's hands and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on Bobby's lips.

 

"But, I..... I can't. I'm sorry." Junhoe mumbled.

 

Junhoe had replayed this scenario in his head many times but didn't know it would be realised this soon. He couldn't look at Bobby in the eye, he was afraid. Junhoe ran out of the restaurant with his mind still buzzing at the proposal he just rejected, leaving a kneeling Bobby on the floor, who looked clearly shaken up.

 

_I musn't be selfish. I shouldn't say yes._

 

Junhoe flagged a taxi and headed to Yunhyeong's apartment, with tears streaming down his face the entire ride.

 

Back in the restaurant, Bobby was overwhelmed and lost in a mix of emotions. Betrayal, hurt, anger, confusion. He couldn't comprehend what just unfolded right in front of his eyes, _Junhoe rejected him? Why?_ They had been together for 5 years now and knew they would end up as lifelong partners one day.

 

 _J_ _unhoe just said he loves me, so... why the rejection?_  

 

Bobby looked at his phone. No message, no call. Pressing the speed dial #1 directed him to the mailbox - Junhoe's handphone was turned off. Bobby frantically grabbed his car keys and sped back to their apartment.

 

_There had to be an explanation._


	3. Happiness Is Not Always A Choice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe seeks shelter at Yunhyeong's apartment to avoid Bobby.

_Ring. Ringgggg. Ringgggggggggggggg.RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG._

 

The doorbell buzzed furiously as a grumpy Hanbin dragged his feet to the door. He and Yunhyeong were in the midst of their movie night date and he definitely did not fancy the uninvited interruption.

 

_"Oh! It's Koo Jun---whattttt on earth happened to you?!?"_

 

A disheveled looking Junhoe stood right at the doorstep. Yunhyeong scrambled to the door upon Hanbin's exclamation.

 

_"Omg."_

 

Junhoe's face was soaked in tears, his eyes bloodshot red and puffy. Yunhyeong turned his attention to the bouquet of roses in his trembling hands.

 

 _"Get in and we'll talk."_ Yunhyeong ushered the shaking Junhoe in hurriedly.

 

_"Hanbin, could you get Junhoe a cup of hot choco please."_

 

Hanbin nodded understandingly, switched off the television and entered the kitchen. Junhoe was always a loud character with lots of cheer, this was the first time seeing him looking like one big mess.

 

 _"Sit."_ Yunhyeong instructed kindly.

 

Junhoe flopped his weakened self on the sofa, drained from all the crying. Yunhyeong was his best friend and the only one who knew his secret. This was the only place he could turn to. Yunhyeong looked at Junhoe, waiting for him to speak. He did not know what to make out of the bouqet of roses and Junhoe's current state, but he did not want to agitate Junhoe further.

 

 _"Here, drink up."_ Hanbin passed a warm mug to Junhoe. Yunhyeong and Hanbin sat there for 15 minutes, accompanying Junhoe who slowly sipped at his favourite chocolate without a word.

 

 _Sarangeul haetta~ Uriga manna~_  

 

A sudden ringtone broke the silence. Hanbin took the ringing handphone out from his pocket and Yunhyeong saw the words 'Bobby hyung' flash across the lighted screen.

 

 _"Bobby must be looking for you."_ Yunhyeong told Junhoe worriedly.

 

  
_"Tell him I'm not here."_   Junhoe finally spoke.

 

Yunhyeong and Hanbin exchanged quick glances, Bobby and Junhoe were never on bad terms before and never fought, as far as their memories could recall.

 

_Hey._

 

_Hanbin! You're at Yunhyeong's place, right?_

 

_Yes, hyung. What's up?_

 

_Is Junhoe there?_

 

_Ermmm.. N-no hyung._

 

_I see. Bye._

 

_Bye._

 

Hanbin looked at Junhoe, who was staring motionlessly into thin air.

 

_"I think Bobby hyung knows you're here, but he said nothing about it."_

 

 _"Good."_ Junhoe replied curtly.

 

Yunhyeong cocked his head and signalled towards the direction of their guestroom.

 

 _"How about you clean up and get some rest? You could stay the night and... we'll talk tomorrow."_ Hanbin offered.

 

Junhoe took up the suggestion gladly and sent a forced smile towards Yunhyeong and Hanbin. With that, Junhoe entered the guestroom and closed the door after him.

 

 

 --

 

 

Bobby knew Hanbin well enough to know he was lying.

 

Upon reaching his apartment to find that Junhoe was not there, Bobby could only think of Yunhyeong's place. Junhoe didn't have much friends as he always stuck to their university cliche. Bobby's heart sank further at the harsh thought that Junhoe didn't want him to know his whereabouts, but he knew better than to argue when it came to Junhoe being stubborn. He would let Junhoe spend the night there and they could always talk again the next day. With a heavy sigh, Bobby sunk under his warm sheets and closed his heavy eyelids.

 

Unknown to Bobby, that day never came.

 


	4. The Gathering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby returns from the US and it is the first time Jinhwan meets him in person. It is also revealed to Jinhwan, Hanbin and Chanwoo that Bobby and Donghyuk were never a couple.

3 YEARS LATER

__

 

 _"Over here"_ Yunhyeong waved excitedy. Everyone was already comfortably gathered at their usual shady spot under a huge oak tree, waiting for the KJHs to arrive.

 

 _"Long Time No See, Junhoe."_ Bobby flashed his usual eye smile at Junhoe.

 

_"Ji-Bo-Bobby hyung."_

 

It had been 3 years since Junhoe last addressed Bobby by his Korean name and it suddenly felt unfamiliar. He hated this feeling, he hated himself for feeling anything at all after all these years. Bobby seemed indifferent though, and his attention was already diverted to the huge boxes of pizzas in Jinhwan's arms.

 

 _"It is my welcome gift for our first meeting. We only ever spoke via the group chat all these while, I am glad we can finally meet!"_   Jinhwan handed the boxes over to Bobby, smiling.

 

 _"Love you, hyung"_ Bobby's eyes sparkled. He heard that Jinhwan disliked pizzas, but Bobby had been raving about pizzas in their group chat and kind Jinhwan promised to bring him some. Nobody else seemed to have caught sight of Junhoe flinching at Bobby's' "love you", apart from Yunhyeong who was seated beside him.

 

  _"Leadernim, speech!"_ Donghyuk exclaimed.

 

All 7 raised their glasses of fruit soju, specially homemade by Yunhyeong for Hanbin who couldn't handle alcohol well.

 

 _"Here's to the future, whatever that may come!  I am glad that Bobby hyung is now back with us, may our friendship last forever and I hope everyone will remain the best of health. My dear friends, continue to be brave in pursuing your dreams!"_  

 

Junhoe sneaked an awkward glance at Bobby. His dream? All he ever dreamt of was to live happily ever after with Bobby hyung, but it was definitely not something he could envision right now.

 

 _No, wait. What am I thinking?_   Junhoe shook his head to get rid of those sudden thoughts.

 

 _"Junhoe, you ok?"_ Jinhwan slipped his hand into Junhoe's and pressed it lightly, concerned.

 

 _"Yeah, I just need the washroom."_ Junhoe excused himself. All he thought of since they arrived was Bobby. He felt guilty and sorry towards Jinhwan.

 

 _"Wait up! I'm coming too!"_ Yunhyeong quipped.

 

  
\--

 

  
_"So Bobby hyung, what do you intend to do now that you're back?"_ Hanbin asked.

 

_"Maybe get back to my raps? It has been awhile since my dad passed away, all the raps I wrote back them were either too emotional or sorrowful. I am perfectly fine now."_

 

 _"So, were you not emotionally stable when we made out??"_ Donghyuk questioned.

 

 _"TMI guys, TMI!"_ the maknae quipped.

 

_"Come on, we already got past that. I am sorry for leading you into thinking we were something when there was nothing to begin with. I also apologised and-"_

 

 _"I was just kidding! You were drunk..."_ Donghyuk interrupted Bobby who looked genuinely sorry.

 

They were met with shocked gazes from the other 3.

 

 _"Wait.. you guys...."_ Jinhwan's voice trailed.

 

 _"It was just a fling, one night thing. We were never officially a couple"_ Donghyuk stated.

 

 _"What?!? And all these while we thought...."_ Hanbin looked at Bobby in disbelief. Bobby never kept any secrets from him before, this was a first.

 

 _"Hey! Stop looking at me like that ok? I never said we were a couple either! It was you guys that came to that conclusion. Donghyuk even has a pretty top model girlfriend now!"_ declared Bobby.

 

 _"I will introduce her to everyone at our next gathering"_ Donghyuk promised.

 

Hanbin's brain felt fuzzy at the sudden revelation, it was too much to digest and take in. He had to speak to Yunhyeong immediately. Hanbin grabbed his handphone and started texting furiously.

 

 

_BIG NEWS. BOBBY AND DONGHYUK ARE NOT A COUPLE._

 

_?? Are you drunk??_

 

_DONGHYUK JUST TOLD US ABOUT IT. HE EVEN HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW._

 

_Hanbin ah, I think you are drunk. I will make you a mocktail the next time we have a gathering._

 

_IT IS TRUE !!! THEY WERE NEVER ONE EITHER!!!_

  
  
_Ok, ok. We will talk when you are more sober. I will be back soon._

 

Hanbin tossed his handphone back into his bag, frustrated. He had to find speak to Yunhyeong immediately. he had to. Hanbin looked at Bobby, and suddenly felt a wave of pity for Junhoe.

 

 


	5. Not Over You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe finally speaks up on his inner thoughts and reveals to Yunhyeong that he has always missed Bobby. Yunhyeong urges Junhoe to tell Bobby the truth behind his rejection to the proposal 3 years ago.

_"You're walking really fast, wait for me!"_ Yunhyeong called from behind. He ran to catch up with Junhoe who took wide strides.

 

 _"Can't be helped, I have long legs."_ Junhoe answered back.

 

 _"Yeah, right. I know you better than anyone when something is up."_ Yunhyeong snorted.

 

 _"Let's rest here for abit."_ Yunheyong pointed to a nearby bench.

 

" _What about the toilet?_ "

 

_"You don't need the toilet."_

 

_"Stop exposing me."_

 

_"I'm merely stating the truth. Now, spill."_

 

_"Spill what?"_

 

_"Stop pretending already! I saw what happened earlier. Your reaction to Bobby!"_

 

Junhoe let out a heavy sigh. There was indeed nothing he could conceal from his closest friend and hyung.

 

 _"I... I don't think I have gotten over him yet."_ Junhoe confessed.

 

 _ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ._ Yunhyeong's phone buzzed.

 

He took it out and read Hanbin's text in alarm.

 

 _Not a couple? How could it be.. Hanbin must be drunk. That must be it._  

 

_"Hanbin hyung'?"_

 

_"Yeah, we whould head back soon. But first, SPILL."_

 

Junhoe shifted his feet and stared aimelessly at the ground.

 

 _"I still love Jiwon hyung!"_ Junhoe blurted out. His chest suddenly felt much lighter and a wave of relief swept by him. He finally said it.

 

Yunhyeong remained silent. He knew that Bobby's special place in Junhoe's heart always remained, unchanged, even when he got together with Jinhwan. Yunhyeong never mentioned this, and waited for the day Junhoe would finally be true to himself and say it. 

 

_"And...."_

 

_"And?"_

 

 _"And... I thought I had gotten over Jiwon hyung after all these years. After seeing Jiwon hyung today, I realised how much I have missed him. I.. I'm not over him. I don't deserve him, not after breaking his heart when I rejected his proposal. He seems really happy with Donghyuk right now too."_ Junhoe's voice was trembling, he was on the verge of tears.

 

 _ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZ._ Hanbin's text came again.

 

 _Bobby and Donghyuk were never a couple?_   Yunhyeong was confused.

 

 _"How am I going to face Jinhwan hyung? I feel terribly guilty and sorry, I don't think I can be myself today as long as Jiwon hyung is around."_ Junhoe sobbed.

 

_"Hey..."_

 

Yunhyeong place his arm around Junhoe's shoulder to comfort the sobbing boy. Tears started to fall from Junhoe's face. Yunhyeong looked at Junhoe with a pained expression. _He must have had so much hurt piled up inside of him all these years._

 

_"Should I just tell Bobby the truth?"_

 

_"No! Hyung, you promised!!"_

 

_"But...."_

 

_"Jiwon hyung would think that I am a coward."_

 

_"Not that you aren't already one."_

 

_"Hyung!!!"_

 

_"But.. things are different now. Maybe if Bobby knew the truth...."_

 

_"What about Jinhwan hyung?"_

 

_"He should know. Everyone should know, starting from Bobby. It has been really hard for Hanbin and I to remain silent in front of Bobby, we shouldn't be keeping secrets from each other you know?"_

 

 _"But, Jinhwan hyung..."_   Junhoe sniffed.

 

_"Do you still love him?"_

 

_"Of course I do. But after seeing Jiwon hyung today, I.. I'm so confused. Is it possible to love 2 people at the same time?"_

 

_"You're an idiot."_

 

_"Give me some time to think through everything."_

 

_"Fair enough. You better now?"_

 

Junhoe nodded.

 

_"Go wipe your tears, we should head back. You look awful."_

 

Junhoe rolled his eyes but gave Yunhyeong a quick hug.

 

_"Thanks, hyung"._


	6. Bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gathering concludes, leaving Jinhwan confused and puzzled. Yunhyeong also learns that Bobby and Donghyuk were never a couple.

_"Did your make love or something at the toilet?"_ Chanwoo joked.

 

 _"Shut up."_ Junhoe rolled his eyes at his friend.

 

 _"Took you long enough."_ Hanbin gave Yunhyeong a look.

 

 _"We'll talk about it later."_ Yunhyeong whispered.

 

 _"Hey Junhoe, I got us some chocolate cake for dessert. The texture is really good, you'll like it. Bobby hyung said its your favourite dessert, we kept a huge slice for you."_   Donghyuk handed the last two plates of cake to Junhoe and Yunhyeong.

 

Junhoe's heart started thumping hard. _Hyung remembers._

 

 _"Not fair! Why do I get such a small slice?"_ Yunhyeong looked at the cake on Junhoe's plate which was twice the size of his.

 

 _"Stop complaining. At least we kept some for you."_ Bobby retorted.

 

 _"You can have mine."_ Hanbin offerred his half-eaten slice.

 

Junhoe took a bite of the cake and choked. The cake.... it tasted like the one he had at the restaurant where Bobby proposed to him. Bittersweet. _Was Bobby trying to convey some message to him? What was the meaning of all this?_ Junhoe couldn't look at Bobby, he could feel tears forming in his eyes. He took an ever bigger bite in disbelief. It was the very same cake, no doubt about it. Junhoe tried very hard to hold back his tears.

 

 _"Slow down.. slow down."_ Jinhwan handed a bottle of water to Junhoe and patted his back.

 

Hanbin looked at Bobby, who had remained his cheerful self all day. He seemed indifferent, at least, on the surface. He shifted his gaze to Bobby's hands, which Bobby kept rubbing. _He was nervous._ Bobby could never keep his hands still whenever he felt uneasy.

 

Junhoe finished the cake under Bobby's watchful eye.

 

 _"Do you like it?"_ Bobby asked.

 

 _"Ye..ah? Ye..ah."_ Junhoe mumbled, still not daring to make eye contact with Bobby.

 

Jinhwan was taken aback. _Bobby said its his favourite?_ Junhoe always said no to chocolate cake, and that he had a bad memory which he did not ever want to recall. Why was Junhoe wolfing down the chocolate cake like no tomorrow? Something was definitely not right, but he did not want to confront Junhoe in front of his friends. Junhoe sensed Jinhwan tensing up beside him, he had to do something before things got awkward. Junhoe got up and excused both of them.

 

 _"Thanks everyone for today, we actually have an appointment so we should be heading our way."_ Junhoe tugged at Jinhwan's arm, signalling him to leave.

 

Jinhwan was puzzled. They had no appointment after this, why the sudden rush? He decided to follow Junhoe's cue first, questions later.

 

 _"I got to go too, LG Twins is playing tonight and I am not missing the match. It was great seeing everyone today, especially you Bobby hyung."_ Chanwoo stood up and left after Junhoe and Jinhwan.

 

The remaining quartet started packing up. _"What cake was that? It tasted expensive"._ Yunhyeong looked at the box which held the cake earlier.

 

 _"Just some cake. Second round at your place?"_ Bobby tried to divert Yunhyeong's attention.

 

 _"Sure, you and Hanbin probably have have lots of catching up to do."_ Yunhyeong said.

 

 _"Sorry guys, boyfriend duties tonight. My girl just texted me to pick her up._ " Donghyuk excused himself.

 

Yunhyeong looked at Hanbin, jaw-dropped. So, it was true.


	7. Do Photos Speak A Thousand Words?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin questions Bobby about the initmate photos on his Instagram and Bobby admiits those were taken when they were drunk, and posted on purpose to spite Junhoe.

_"Bobby, is it true? You were never with Donghyuk?"_

 

_"Hyung, I can't believe you kept it from me. So much for our years of friendship???"_

 

_"Hey guys, calm down, ok?"_

 

 _"YOU EXPECT US TO CALM DOWN?"_ Hanbin was raging.

 

_"Bobby, if it's true, this changes everything."_

 

_"It changes nothing. Junhoe has Jinhwan hyung right now."_

 

Yunhyeong was resisting the urge to tell Bobby the truth behind Junhoe's rejection and how he still felt strongly for Bobby. But, a promise was a promise.

 

 _"You never denied it either!"_ Hanbin argued.

 

_"As you already know, Donghyuk was there for me during my toughest moments in US after my Dad passed away. We got really close, he is like a younger sibling to me now. That is also the reason why I'm currently putting up at his place whilst I find myself an apartment."_

 

_"Explain the intimate photos of you and Donghyuk in bars on each other's Instagram!!"_

 

_"Hanbin, calm down would you? Fine, I admit that those photos were posted out of spite, but they were taken when I was drunk. I wanted to show Junhoe that I was doing fine in the US, even without him."_

 

_"Do you know how difficult it was for us? Junhoe would come to our house drunk every other night, and he wasn't supposed to be drinking at all."_

 

 _"What do you mean?"_ Bobby asked, clearly confused.

 

_"Junhoe, he----"_

 

 _"HANBIN."_ Yunhyeong warned.

 

Yunhyeong shook his head at Hanbin, signalling for him to remain silent. He turned to Bobby.

 

_"There seems to be some misunderstanding between you and Junhoe."_

 

_"Misunderstanding? Junhoe definitely rejected me 3 years ago. He has a boyfriend now, they are living under one roof. Everything seems pretty straightforward to me. The last I remember, Junhoe never replied to my text messages when I was in the US."_

 

_"He changed his number after you left."_

 

_"He knows my number, he could have contacted me if he wanted."_

 

 _"Sigh, this is getting us no where. Let's talk about it over dinner when all of us are less agitated. I was thinking of heading to the recording studio to write some new songs. Bobby hyung, care to join?"_ Hanbin was hoping he could pull Bobby aside for a private talk.

 

_"Go ahead, I will prepare dinner for us. It has been ages since you guys worked on anything after 'Anthem', would be nice if your could work on something together again, after all these years."_

 

 _"Yeah, alright. L_ _et's go record some raps instead."_ Bobby was exhausted from the questioning glares Hanbin gave him all day, it was time to change Hanbin's focus to something different.

 

 _"Whip up something delicious!"_ Bobby yelled before closing the front door.


	8. Time To Let Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan knows it is time to let go. He breaks up with Junhoe and decides to return to his family in Jeju.

Jinhwan had remained silent throughout their ride home, which left Junhoe feeling uncomfortably uneasy. Jinhwan only broke the silence when they reached home and started unpacking.

 

_"Junhoe, is there something I should know?"_

 

 _"No.... there isn't. It's... the weather..."_ Junhoe's voice trailed off. He was not a good liar, he was never one. He knew Jinhwan would see through him immediately.

 

 _"It's not the weather, you and I both know that. We don't have any other plans for today, so why were you in a rush to leave? And, since when did you eat chocolate cake?"_ Jinhwan snapped. He could feel his voice rising in anger. He went to the kitchen to pour himself a glass of cold water, hoping it would help calm him down.

 

Junhoe remained silent.

 

_How was he going to explain the whole situation? Where should he start from? Junhoe knew this would mean the end of their relationship the moment he told Jinhwan the truth. There would be no turning back, was he ready for this? Was he ready to face the truth?_

 

 _"If you ever find yourself helpless, don't feel despair. Follow your heart, my love, and you will always find me beside you. My shoulder will be there for you, so lean on me."_ Bobby's words rang hard in Junhoe's head. Bobby wrote that in one of his birthday messages to Junhoe years ago.

 

_"Jiwon hyung."_

 

_"Jiwon hyung? Who is th----. Wait, Bobby?"_

 

Junhoe nodded as he closed his heavy eyelids momentarily and heaved a huge sigh. He could not deceive Jinhwan any longer. _He had to do this, it was now or never._

 

 _"Jiwon hyung was my first love."_ Junhoe confessed.

 

Jinhwn was taken aback, mouth agape. He stumbled backwards, losing balance. The glass of water in his hand fell to the ground, shattering into a million pieces. The glass shards cut Jinhwan's leg but his whole body was numb, he couldn't feel anything.

 

 _"You're bleeding!"_ Junhoe rushed forward to help Jinhwan who was frozen in his tracks.

 

 _"NO. YOU STAY WHERE YOU ARE, KOO JUN HOE."_ Jinhwan's voice was shaking with anger.

 

_Bobby was his first love? That very same "Jiwon" whom Junhoe used to write about in his poems? The person behind Junhoe's depression for a year before they met?_

 

Junhoe looked at Jinhwan who was fuming, he had all the reasons to feel angry. As if he could read Jinhwan's mind, Junhoe nodded his head sheepishly.

 

_"It is true."_

 

That one thing that served as some form of consolation for Junhoe in the months Bobby left for the US were his precious poems, which always revolved around his life stories with Bobby. Jinhwan once asked Junhoe about the poems which he coincidentally chanced upon when tidying Junhoe's drawers, but Junhoe simply dismissed them as _"some old stuff"_   that was _"nothing of concern"_ when he asked about the recurring character "Jiwon" in every single poem.

 

Jinhwan was now on his knees sobbing uncontrollably, his tiny figure trembling in shock.

 

Junhoe went over cautiously and carried Jinhwan to the sofa where he would be safe from the glass shards. Taking out the medical kit, Junhoe started treating Jinhwan's minor wounds. Jinhwan's mind was fighting but his body was too weak to retaliate.

 

_I'm sorry hyung, I really am. I should have been truthful with you from the beginning." Junhoe whispered softly._

 

Jinhwan hugged his knees to his chest and burried his tear-stained face. Everyone else at the gathering must have known and they kept it from him. He suddenly felt humiliated, like a laughing stock.

 

_"I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to know that the past year with you was real, I loved you."_

 

Jinhwan winced at the past tense Junhoe used. It felt like a blade just pierced right through his heart and remained there, intact. The pain was too much to bear and it hurt, real bad. With every amount of strength left inside of him, Jinhwan lifted his head to make eye contact with Junhoe.

 

 _"The chocolate cake."_ Jinhwan's lips were trembling.

 

_"3 years ago, Jiwon hyung proposed to me with a ring hidden in a chocolate cake. The cake Donghyuk bought.. it tasted the same."_

 

_Proposed?? This was going way further than he thought. Being his first love was not enough, Bobby even proposed to Junhoe??_

 

_"But you guys broke up."_

 

_"I.. I rejected the proposal."_

 

_"Why?"_

 

Junhoe swallowed hard, he chose his words carefully. This was something Jinhwan wasn't aware of either.

 

_"I was not in the position to accept it."_

 

_"What more are you hiding from me, Junhoe? How much longer do I need to be kept in the dark only to uncover more secrets from you?"_

 

 _"I am terribly sorry hyung. I.. this I cannot say. It is between Jiwon hyung and me."_ Junhoe felt his stomach churning. Revealing Bobby as his first love and the proposal was enough, it was already too much for Jinhwan to take in.

 

_"Still so stubborn! When will you learn not to swallow all your troubles and not keep them to yourself?"_

 

_"Hyung, it doesn't matter to me anymore. Let's not talk about the past, Jiwon hyung and Donghyuk are living happily together now."_

 

Jinhwan looked at Junhoe. Should he tell him that they were never together? He was feeling betrayed and heartbroken, but it would be too selfish of him to hide it from Junhoe.

 

 _"What are we now?"_ Jinhwan asked cautiously.

 

 _"I.. I...."_ Junhoe stuttered. What could he say? He hung his head and stared at the floor.

 

Jinhwan didn't need a second cue, he knew this was the end of their relationship. Junhoe loved him, but he still loves Bobby and had never stopped loving him. He could see it written all over Junhoe's face, it was time for him to let go. He could never replace that spot Bobby always had in Junhoe's heart.

 

 _"I will pack my things."_ Jinhwan announced as he got up from the sofa.

 

_"Where are you going?"_

 

_"Home."_

 

_"Home??"_

 

_"Yes, Junhoe. Home. Back to Jeju."_

 

Junhoe felt another pang of guilt. Jinhwan had left his family and moved to Seoul just to be with him.

 

  _"I am terribly sorry, if there is anything I could do to help..."_

 

_"There is nothing you can do, Junhoe. It is over."_

 

Junhoe looked on helplessly as Jinhwan packed the remaining of his belongings. Jinhwan didn't have much clothes, he had always shared what Junhoe already had, despite the huge difference in their sizes and style.

 

_"Let me send you off at least, please."_

 

_"Fine, one last drive."_

 

It was a quick 15 minutes ride to Gimpo airport, but it felt like the longest 15 minutes ever in his life. He was grateful that Jinhwan agreed to the send off, this was the last thing he could do for him.

 

Jinhwan bought his ticket and checked his luggage in. This was it.

 

 _"Take care hyung, I don't know what else to say except sorry. Thank you for being by my side the past year, I am extremely grateful to you. You deserve someone better, I-"_ Jinhwan grabbed Junhoe and pulled the latter towards him, cutting Junhoe off.

 

The long built in his embrace, the sturdy body, his familiar scent. He would miss those the most. He closed his eyes, this was really goodbye. Jinhwan pulled himself away from Junhoe after what seemed like eternity to him.

 

_"Speak to Bobby, Junhoe. I don't know what was the reason behind your rejection to his proposal, but you should speak to him."_

 

Junhoe gave Jinhwan a puzzled look. Why was everyone telling him to speak to Bobby? Was there something he missed at the gathering?

 

Jinhwan passed his passport to the immigration officer and turning to Junhoe for the very last time, he said "I don't know why I am telling you this, but you should know. Bobby and Donghyuk were never a couple."

 

With that, Jinhwan flashed a bitter smile and disappeared behind the glass doors.


	9. DOUBLEB

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby confides in Hanbin who tries to bring Junhoe and Bobby back together.

_"So how's things with you and Yunhyeong?"_

 

_"We're happy. Yunhyeong hyung is always happy, and that makes me happy too."_

 

_"What the heck Hanbin, you've become as cheesy as Yunhyeong. I'm hungry, let's order pizza."_

 

 _"How are you always eating? I'll order so much pizza you will never eat another slice in your life again."_ Hanbin could never understand Bobby's deep love for pizzas. How could anyone choose pizza over chicken? Mexicana was life.

 

They entered Hanbin's recording studio, which looked much brighter now compared to Bobby's last visit years ago.

 

 _"Woahhhh~"_ exclaimed Bobby in awe.

 

 _"Those sketches were done by Yunhyeong hyung."_ Hanbin explained admiringly.

 

Bobby looked at the colourful paintings that filled the walls with life. A huge lion caught his immediate attention.

 

 _"That's the most colourful lion I've ever seen in my life!"_ Bobby laughed.

 

_"Don't laugh in front of Yunhyeong hyung, that's his favourite. He will be upset if you do."_

 

_"Gawd Hanbin, it was just a passing remark. Relax dude!"_

 

Hanbin slumped into his favourite chair and usual spot in front of his keyboard. Bobby joined Hanbin, taking the other chair beside him. He ordered pizza before swinging his chair to face Bobby. This was the best time to have a heart to heart talk with Bobby.

 

_"So, what is the real reason that you're back, hyung?"_

 

Bobby was not the kind to beat around the bush. He had always confided in Hanbin, who felt like a dependable hyung to him although he was 1 year younger. Hanbin had always been a trustworthy friend, there was nothing to hide.

 

_"Junhoe."_

 

_"My hunch was right."_

 

_"I have not given up on him yet."_

 

_"You always set out to do the things you want, hyung. I'm not surprised. But, it did take you a little longer than I expected."_

 

_"Junhoe was ignoring my messages and calls, so I stopped trying to contact him after awhile. It was a good decision anyway since he changed his phone number, no wonder I couldn't get through him."_

 

_"Are you going to get him back?"_

 

_"I don't know, Hanbin. He seems happy with Jinhwan hyung. I like that hyung, he isn't much of a talker but I can tell he really cares for Junhoe."_

 

_"So do you."_

 

_"I tried my best to hide that today, how did I do?"_

 

_"90%. 5% goes to the fact that I saw your awkward hand gestures which you always make when you're nervous. I don't think anyone else caught on."_

 

_"Damn. Nothing can get past you, huh?"_

 

_"What are friends for?"_

 

Bobby fist-bumped Hanbin. _"I missed our talks like this. It's different with Donghyuk, we always end up arguing with each other, like real siblings."_

 

_"The remaining 5% goes to the chocolate cake."_

 

_"It was Donghyuk's idea."_

 

_"That was unexpected. Anyway, I'm rooting for you, hyung. I'm sure things will work out for you and Junhoe.. you guys just need to start talking."_

 

_"I guess being with Yunhyeong makes you see everything in a positive light, eh?" Bobby teased._

 

_"For real hyung, you should speak to Junhoe one of this days. I mean, you can do it as... an old friend."_

 

_"That would be awkward."_

 

_"As if you guys aren't already are. Junhoe called you Bobby hyung earlier."_

 

_"I wished he would call me Jiwon hyung instead, like the good old days."_

 

_"Hey.. how about I ask Yunhyeong hyung to invite him over for dinner? Junhoe would drop by now and then anyway, Jinhwan hyung wouldn't suspect a thing."_

 

_"Will that be a good idea? Junhoe seemed extremely uncomfortable earlier."_

 

_"That's because Jinhwan hyung was there. Junhoe couldn't help but be in an awkward position since Jinhwan hyung doesn't know you're his first love. Trust me, Yunhyeong hyung will do the talking, just leave it to him. Everything willl be just fine."_

 

_"I'll give it a try. I miss him already, that Junhoe."_

 

Hanbin took his handphone and started typing away.

 

_Hyung, could you invite Junhoe over for dinner as well? I think it would be good if Junhoe and Bobby could sort things out. We could help them be on speaking terms again._

_Hanbin, I was about to contact you. Junhoe is already here._

_He is at our house?_

_Yes, he just arrived 5 minutes ago._

_With Jinhwan hyung?_

_No, he came alone. It was an abrupt visit, I'm going over to the nearby mart to get more ingredients for dinner._

 

_"Well, consider it done. Junhoe just came over."_

 

_"Alone?"_

 

_"Yes, alone. Look, I told you everything will be fine. Don't worry, hyung."_

 

 

_Jinhwan hyung and Junhoe broke up._

_???? YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME._

_Junhoe came clean with Jinhwan hyung about Bobby being his first love and all. Jinhwan hyung packed his stuff and went back to Jeju, Junhoe sent him off before coming straight here._

_HEOL. NEWS OF THE CENTURY. BOBBY HYUNG WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO KNOW THIS._

_Don't let him know yet, let Junhoe tell Bobby himself._

 

 

 _"What did Yunhyeong say?"_ Hanbin had been typing furiously at his handphone for the past 10 minutes.

 

 _"He's going to get more groceries for tonight."_ Hanbin replied, trying his hardest to conceal his excitement. Things were finally starting to look bright for Bobby and Junhoe again.

 

_Does Junhoe know that Bobby hyung will be joining for dinner?_

_Yes, I told him about it. Don't worry, I got everything under control._

_Ok, see you soon hyung❤_

_See you❤_


	10. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Junhoe join Yunhyeong and Hanbin at their home for dinner. What will happen after Junhoe informs everyone about his breakup with Jinhwan?

" _Stop pacing around in the kitchen Junhoe, you're distracting me. Hanbin and Bobby will be back anytime soon now and I'm not done with the last dish!_."

 

Junhoe couldn't keep still. He had been restless ever since Yunhyeong told him about Bobby joining for dinner as well. How long had it been since they last shared a table and had a proper meal together? Junhoe felt nervous and his palms were wet from cold sweat.

 

" _Do I look ok, hyung? Should I change into something else?_ " Junhoe looked down at his white shirt and black training pants.

 

" _Do you even have any other clothes apart from those? And for God's sake Junhoe, we're having dinner at my place, not some fancy restaurant._ "

 

" _Oh! They're here!_ " Junhoe jumped at the sudden unlocking sounds from the front door.

 

Yunhyeong hurriedly plated the last of the potato pancakes and rushed to the door whilst removing his apron simultaneously.

 

 _"You're back, dinner is just ready!_ " 

 

" _Oh, hi, Junhoe._ " Bobby sent a lazy wave in his direction.

 

" _Hi, Ji-hyung_." Junhoe bit his lip nervously. It was going to take some time for him to get adjusted to calling him 'Jiwon hyung' again.

 

" _I'm famished. What did you cook, hyung?_ " Hanbin attempted a conversation before things started to get awkward between Bobby and Junhoe.

 

" _Seafood stew, fried rice, stir-fry spicy pork and potato pancakes for starters_."

 

" _OH YEAHH STIR-FRY SPICY PORK!!!_ " Bobby ran over to the table excitedly, it was his favourite dish.

 

_"Junhoe insisted I cook that."_

 

_"Hyung can't eat seafood."_

 

" _Let's eat!_ " Hanbin helped Yunhyeong with the utensils so that they could get started with dinner.

 

Bobby send a wink straight to Junhoe and mouthed a "thanks" to him.

 

Junhoe could feel himself shaking, Bobby's eye smiles and winks had always been his largest weakness. _How could Bobby be so indifferent despite knowing that about him? Oh right, he already has a boyfriend. Does he? Jinhwan hyung said they weren't together. Bobby probably didn't even think about that wink at all. It was just a casual wink, yes, a causal one._ Junhoe kept repeating that in his head, but it didn't seem to help with his increasing heartbeat.

 

_"Hey Junhoe, Stop standing there! Everyone is waiting for you to eat! You got to try the stew before it turns cold, I came up with a new recipe today and it should be good!"_

 

Junhoe snapped out from his thoughts and slid himself in the only empty seat left which was directly facing Bobby. It wasn't going to be an easy dinner, he still couldn't look at Bobby properly in the eye.

  

" _I'll pray_." Bobby led everyone in prayer before tucking in.

 

 _"Hyung, the seafood stew is so good and the octopus is so fresh. I am so lucky to have you cook for me everyday._ "

 

" _Guys! We just started eating, can we tone done with the cheesy lines?? And, how can you eat such disgusting stuff from the sea!_ " Bobby grimaced at the sight of Hanbin chewing on the octopus tentacles.

 

Before he could stop himself, Junhoe found his hand picking up the chopsticks and putting some stir-fry spicy pork on Bobby's plate.

 

_"Eat this, hyung."_

 

Yunhyeong looked at Bobby, hoping he wouldn't take Junhoe so lightly like how he had been the whole day, or at least he seemed to. Junhoe was having a tough day, even more so after the breakup with Jinhwan a few hours ago. He picked up his phone and started typing.

 

_Be nice to Junhoe._

_???_

  
Bobby looked up to see Yunhyeong giving him a knowing look. What was the deal now? Bobby knew he had been acting indifferent all day on purpose, but Junhoe was the one who left him, not the other way round. Fine, he would play the nice guy card first.

 

" _Thanks, Junhoe. You should eat some too_." Bobby reached for a slice of potato pancake and placed it on Junhoe's plate.

 

_"It feels like the good old days again."_

 

All three turned to look at Hanbin.

 

_"What? I'm just stating the truth."_

 

_"I.. I got something to tell you guys."_

 

Junhoe had been contemplating how and when to break the news about his breakup with Jinhwan as he wasn't expecting Bobby to be there that night. After thinking it through, he decided to just go ahead with announcing it since Bobby would learn about it sooner or later anyway.

 

_"Why so serious?"_

 

_"Hanbin, let him speak."_

 

Bobby had maintained his silence and was observing Junhoe, who seemed pretty disturbed. There must have been something on his mind which he had a hard time getting off his chest.

 

_"Just so you know, Jinhwan hyung and I have broken up. Earlier today."_

 

" _WHATT?????_ " exclaimed Hanbin in disbelief, pretending he didn't already know.

 

Yunhyeong kicked Bobby from under the table, signalling him to say something.

 

_"Oww--For real?"_

 

_"Yes, hyung. For real."_

 

" _I knew you guys wouldn't last long._ " Hanbin never approved of Junhoe's relationship with Jinhwan from the beginnig, not when he knew the reason behind Junhoe's rejection to Bobby's proposal.

 

_"Hanbin! Don't be mean! Can't you see Junhoe is having a hard time right now?"_

 

_"Fine, I'm sorry."_

 

From under the table, Bobby started typing back to Yunhyeong.

 

_Is it true?_

 

_Junhoe just said it, didn't he?_

 

_Why?_

 

_Ask him yourself._

 

Junhoe sneaked a glance at Bobby hoping for a reaction of some sort, but he just sat there staring at his handphone whilst munching on some fried rice. _Sigh._ He suddenly felt tired, and needed some sleep.

 

" _I'm done, thanks for the dinner. I'll take a shower and head in early_." Junhoe excused himself and headed to the guestroom. Yunhyeong had told him to stay the night since Jinhwan was no longer in town.

 

 _"You miss him, don't you?"_ Yunhyeong asked once Junhoe was out of ear shot.

 

Bobby looked up, his eyes on fire.

 

_"I'm getting Junhoe back."_


	11. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Junhoe finally get some time alone and start talking to each other again, but their conversation is cut short when Junhoe suffers from a sudden relapse and has to be rushed to the hospital.

Junhoe stepped out of the shower to find his naked self facing Bobby, sprawled on the bed in the dark.

 

" _Omg!_ " Junhoe grabbed a towel and covered himself hurriedly. Bobby opened his eyes and sat up, facing a very frantic Junhoe.

 

" _Like I've not seen you naked before. Can't see much anyway_." Bobby pointed to the ceiling lights which were switched off.

 

Junhoe bit his lips again. He could feel the sound of his heartbeat reaching his ears.

 

" _I.. I'll get changed_." Junhoe had no idea why he was suddenly feeling this shy in front of Bobby, as he was almost always naked when at home or the guesthouse.

 

Junhoe clumsily made his way to the drawers, nearly tripping over the bed in the darkness. Dang. He wasn't expecting Bobby in the guestroom, and why did he feel so awkward around Bobby now? He was not quite ready for an alone talk with Bobby yet, but there was a burning question that he needed to solve - was he with Donghyuk, or not??

 

" _Here, take these. Probably Hanbin's_." Bobby tossed a red training suit to him which he had found whilst Junhoe was showering.

 

" _Thanks_." 

 

Junhoe dressed hurriedly and stood by the bed, unsure what to do next. _Would it be weird if he sat on the bed beside Bobby?_ He looked around helplessly.

 

" _Sit down._ " Bobby pointed to the empty spot on the bed beside him.

 

Junhoe obeyed, instinctively.

 

_"Junhoe."_

 

_"Yes, hyung."_

 

_"Jiwon hyung."_

 

_"Yes?"_

 

_"Jiwon hyung, call me Jiwon hyung."_

 

_"Ji..Jiwon hyung."_

 

Bobby looked at Junhoe, who had not return eye contact since stepping out of the shower.

 

_"Do you hate me?"_

 

_"What?? Nooo hyungg."_

 

_"Then? What is it? Look at me."_

 

Junhoe gathered all the courage in him, recalling the time he attempted a dive into a 2m pool with Bobby's encouragement. He finally managed a look into Bobby's small but charming eyes. Those eyes... he missed them. But today, they were filled with an unspeakable mix of sadness and maybe anger. His eyes seemed to be on fire, even in the dark.

 

" _Hyung?_ "

 

Bobby continued to return the eye contact Junhoe finally responded to, but kept his silence.

 

_"Can I ask you a question?"_

 

Silence. There was still no response from Bobby. Junhoe wished Bobby would stop looking at him the way he was, it felt as if Bobby's gaze cut right through him. All he wanted to know was if Donghyuk and him were a couple, before he raised his hopes or did something he would regret again.

 

_"Hy-Jiwon hyung, about you and Donghyuk..."_

 

" _What?_ " Bobby finally broke his silence.

 

_'Are the both of you... I mean... Are you guys.. Is he.. Do you like..."_

 

_"We are just friends."_

 

_"Just friends?"_

 

_"Yes, Junhoe. JUST. FRIENDS."_

 

 _Was he dreaming?_ Junhoe couldn't believe his ears.

 

_"That means...."_

 

_"Yes, Junhoe. It means exactly what it means."_

 

Junhoe broad, stiff shoulders started to relax. His question was finally solved, Bobby said so himself. Junhoe felt a sudden wave of hope surge inside him. _Was there a chance for him again? Would Bobby accept him back after so many years?_

 

They sat there in silence until Bobby plopped himself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling above him.

 

Junhoe's nails dug into the bolster beside him, not knowing if he should follow suit. _Was he supposed to lie down as well?_

 

_"Are you going to sit there all night?"_

 

_"What?"_

 

_"Lie down, Junhoe. Sleep."_

 

_"Sleep? Here?"_

 

_"Where else would you sleep? There is only one guestroom in this house."_

 

Junhoe hesitated. He had been resisting the urge to hug Bobby and give him a proper welcome back home, and this was making it worse.

 

_"Do you hate me that much?"_

 

_"What?? No hyung. No, I don't."_

 

_"Then, why are you keeping a distance from me?"_

 

Bobby gritted his teeth in the dark. Junhoe was so trying and always slow to catch on to things. He had asked Yunhyeong to let him share the guestroom with Junhoe so that they could spend the night together. He wanted to clear up things with Junhoe, there was just so much he wanted to ask him over the years. Bobby needed to know if he still stood a chance, if they still stood a chance.

 

Junhoe finally rested himself flat on the bed and Bobby pulled the covers over both of them, it was a chilly night.

 

_"I...."_

 

_"I'm listening."_

 

_"I broke up with Jinhwan hyung today."_

 

" _I'm sorry to hear that._ " Bobby lied.

 

" _I---------_ " Junhoe suddenly felt dizzy. His body was numb and felt hard to move.

 

" _Urghhhh!!_ " Junhoe cried as his head started throbbing. His vision was cloudy, everything seemed fuzzy and he was drained of all energy.

 

" _Junhoe!! Are you ok???_ " Bobby scrambled to get the lights on. Junhoe was in extreme pain, his body barely able to move.

 

" _HANBINNNNN!!! YUNHYEONGGG!!!_ " Bobby cried anxiously for help. Yunhyeong and Hanbin were at the door almost instantly.

 

" _What happen---Hanbin! It's a relapse!!!!_ "

 

" _I'll get the medicine!_ " Hanbin rushed to retrieve the first aid kit from their storeroom.

 

_"Relapse!?!"_

 

_"Later, Bobby. Please, call the ambulance! We'll explain to you later."_

 

 _1-1-9_. Bobby's hands were trembling in fear as he punched the numbers on the phone. 

 

 _Please, please. Please let Junhoe be ok._ Bobby found himself praying the hardest prayer in his life.


	12. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The doctor informs Junhoe's mother that there is a high possibility of Junhoe needing a transplant as his vitals do not look too promising.

_"When was the last time he had a relapse?"_

 

_"Not since his last appointment with you doctor, which was 2 years ago."_

 

_"His vitals do not seem too good currently, it is highly like that he will need to have a transplant. The waiting list for a donor is on average 2 months right now, I suggest you try finding a suitable donor before he suffers another relapse. He will also need to stay in the hospital until all further checks are completed."_

 

_"Thank you. I will discuss it with my family, please keep us updated once all checks are done."_

 

_"Only one visitor is allowed at a time, the patient needs plenty of rest and please do not agitate him in any way. You may have someone sleepover as well."_

 

_"Noted doctor, thank you."_

 

Bobby, Yunhyeong and Hanbin could only overhear the conversation Junhoe's mum had with the doctor from outside the ward. They had all been denied entry until Junhoe got better and were told to wait until further instructions.

 

Junhoe's mum came out after the doctor left and went up to the trio.

 

_"The doctor said we should get ready for a transplant..."_

 

_'I'm so sorry, it was my fault.."_

 

_"Jiwon, this has nothing to do with you. Junhoe has had this condition for 3 years now. This is not the time for self-blame, we need to find a suitable donor. I will call my relatives first, could you please ask around too, boys?"_

 

Yunhyeong and Hanbin nodded in unison.

 

_"We will, please have some rest. You have been up all night and did not get a wink of sleep. We will stay here with Junhoe, dont worry."_

 

_"Thank you, Yunhyeong. Always so sweet. You boys did not get a wink of sleep either. I will come back later in the afternoon with lunch."_

 

_"Don't worry about us, we are ok. Thank you, we will see you later."_

_  
"Only one visitor is allowed at a time, instructions from the doctor."_

 

_"Yes please take care. See you later."_

 

The trio waved goodbye as the Koo family left the hospital. Bobby fell to the floor, and a sudden reality struck him. _Junhoe has had this condition for 3 years now!? Why did he not know about it?? Why did Junhoe not tell him about it??_ He felt lousy, he did not deserve Junhoe. Not at all.

 

" _Bobby hyung, are you ok?_ " Hanbin turned to look at a collapsed Bobby on the floor. He was in deep shock.

 

 _"All this while... all this while...I never.. never knew.."_ Bobby's voice was shaking.

 

_"Hyung, you can accompany Junhoe first. Bobby hyung and I will take turns after. Let me settle this hyung first..."_

 

_"Ok, it's time to tell him everything he should know."_

 

_"I will. Everything."_


	13. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finally finds out the truth behind Junhoe's rejection to his proposal 3 years ago. He also vows to save Junhoe by donating his liver to him.

_"Junhoe..."_

  
Junhoe stirred at the sound of a familiar voice calling his name and slowly opened his eyes to find Yunhyeong beside him.

 

_"Hyung.. where am I?"_

 

_"Hospital, you had another relapse. How are you feeling, better? Here, drink some water."_

 

Junhoe sat himself upright on the bed as he sipped the warm water Yunhyeong handed him.

 

_"Bob-Jiwon hyung..."_

 

_"Now isn't the time to be worring about Bobby! Hanbin will explain to him everything, alright? Just rest, your family will be back at lunchtime to see you."_

 

_"I owe him an apology."_

 

_"You can do that later. First, REST. The doctor said you need plenty of it."_

 

_"All I can think of now is him, hyung. Please, let me see him."_

 

_"So stubborn! Fine, I will ask him in. Only one of us are allowed in at a time. Just don't get all worked up, ok. Promise?"_

 

_"Yes, yes. Why are you so naggy, hyung. I promise."_

 

Outside the ward, Hanbin had filled Bobby in on Junhoe's condition from 3 years ago.

  
_"And so, Junhoe rejected the proposal because he didn't know how long more he could live if there wasn't a suitable donor. He came to our house that night, looking like a huge mess. He was scared and afraid but still wouldn't let us tell you about his sickness. Shortly after you left for the US, Junhoe also suffered from a bout of depression. It took him a year of counselling sessions before his condition improved. Jinhwan hyung was one of the volunteers helping out the counsellor and that was how they met. He helped Junhoe alot, they got really close. Junhoe's health also took a turn for the better, and they got together. He hasn't had a relapse for 2 years now."_

 

Bobby sat in silence, trying to absorb 3 years worth of information. Pangs of guilt hit him hard with every word Hanbin said. _Why didn't he chase after Junhoe? Why did he wait until the next day, which never came because he had to rush back to US upon learning about his father's deteoriating health?_ It was all his fault, and he had blamed Junhoe all this years. _How could he not have known about his boyfriend's sickness??_ Every single thought tugged at his heart and tears starting falling from his cheeks.

 

_"It isn't entirely your fault. Junhoe kept it from you."_

 

 _"Ittt issss!"_ Bobby sobbed uncontrollably.

 

_"It's not too late. I've seen the way Junhoe looks at you, and the way you look at him. You guys still love each other and deeply care for each other."_

 

_"I love Junhoe so, so much." cried Bobby through his tears._

 

_"I know, I know." Hanbin patted Bobby on his back, comforting the elder._

 

_"Transplant.. the doctor said something about finding a suitable donor."_

 

_"Yes, we should start looking."_

 

_"Me, start from me."_

 

_"You??"_

 

_"Yes. Me."_

 

_"Hyung!! What nonsense are you spouting now?! You could die!!!"_

 

_"I am dead serious, Hanbin. Never more serious in my life. I owe this to Junhoe, this is the only thing I can do for him right now."_

 

 _"Bobby! Junhoe insists on seeing you."_ They were interrupted by Yunhyeong who came out of the ward in no less than 5 minutes. 

 

Bobby sprang up and with his hand still on the door knob, he turned to Hanbin with a determined look. 

 

_"No, it is what I should do for him."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This particular chapter (and onwards) is inspired by a true story of a celebrity couple who went through a successful living-donor transplant. I was initially hesitant on revolving my story around this but... I still did in the end. I'm not sure how this story will conclude yet..... do let me know your thoughts...


	14. Texts

_Dongtoppi!!!_

_..._

_Junhoe got hospitalised! Get your fat ass here right now._

_Huh? What happened? And stop calling me fat!!_

_Apparently he has been suffering from some condition since 3 years ago and he had a relapse._

_What!? And you didn't know!? How is he now??_

_He is conscious but the doctor says his vitals aren't looking good. You better be here by lunch!_

_Is that how you ask for visitors over? =_=_

_Come on! Ok, please come visit Junhoe. Alright?_

_Send me the address, I will be there right away. Praying that Junhoe will get well soon!_

_Thanks bro._

 

\---- 

  
  
  
_Chanuya, Junhoe has been hospitalised. Could you come visit him? He's conscious but the doctor says his vitals aren't looking good and he needs to be hospitalised until further checks are completed._

_Heol._

_?? Are you coiming or not?_  
  
_Yes, yes. Relax! Send me the address. Hope all is fine with Junhoe!!_

 

\---- 

 

 

Bobby scrolled through his contacts and stopped at one name. _Should he ask him as well? There was no reason not to._ Without further thoughts, Bobby starting drafting his message to the last person.

 

 

_Jinhwan hyung._

_Bobby?_

_I heard you guys broke up yesterday and I know this is extremely selfish of me, but I do hope you will pay Junhoe a visit if you can at the hospital._

_What happened to Junhoe?!?_

_He had a relapse, he hasn't had it for 2 years now. Hanbin just told me about his condition, and that you weren't aware of it either._

_What condition?! Junhoe has kept so much secrets from me I don't even think I recognise him anymore._

_I understand that you are feeling hurt and betrayed. I apologise for not telling you about our relationship either, but everything was in the past. The doctor said that Junhoe's vitals aren't looking good, I will explain to you everything when you get here. Please, hyung._

 

 

Bobby stared at his phone, the replies stopped. _Should he give Jinhwan a call?_ Bobby's fingers moved to the call button but his phone vibrated and a reply came before he could press it.

 

 

_Give me the address, I will take the next flight out to seoul._

_Thank you hyung, Junhoe will be really happy to see you. Thank you._


	15. Awkward No More?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hanbin is happy that things are starting to look positive for Bobby and Junhoe again.

Bobby had been fixated on his handphone since entering the ward, continuously texting away silently. Junhoe patiently watched Bobby who sat by his bed. Bobby kept his phone back in his pockets and finally looked up after sending his last text message.

 

_"Hyung."_

 

_"Junhoe."_

 

They both spoke at the same time.

 

 _"Sshhh._ " Bobby put his fingers to Junhoe's supple lips.

 

_"I will do the talking."_

 

Junhoe nodded. It felt good to be in Bobby's presence again. He felt an indescribable ease, the suffocating awkwardness from the past few days was gone.

 

" _I.. I don't know where to start. But, I want to apologise to you first, for not knowing your condition and blaming you all these years for leaving me. I must not have been good enough for you at that time, not good enough for you to share your burden with me. I am sorry. Please forgive me._ " Bobby took Junhoe's hand in his and bent down to kiss it. Tears started welling up in Bobby's eyes.

 

 _Nooooo_. This wasn't what he had imagine. _Why was Bobby blaming himself?? It was clearly his fault for not entrusting his sickness to Bobby. He was supposed to be the one making the apology._

 

" _Hyung, please don't say sorry, please. This is all my fault! If there is anyone who should apologise, that would be me, not you. There is nothing for me to forgive, you did nothing wrong..._ " Junhoe removed his hand from Bobby's clasp and gently wiped the tears that starting falling from Bobby's cheeks.

 

Bobby rested his cheeks in Junhoe's wide palm and closed his eyes birefly. His heart felt heavy and memories of their past, both happy and sad, flashed through his mind. He reopened his eyes again and was met with a teary eyed Junhoe.

 

" _I was a coward. I never meant to hurt you, hyung. I was too afraid... I should have put more trust in us, put more trust in you. I cannot undo the past and I know there is nothing I can do to remove that pain, I am really sorry.._ " Tears were reforming quickly in his eyes.

 

Bobby pulled back from Junhoe before their emotions got the better of them. The doctor clearly said not to agitate Junhoe and Yunhyeong would kill him if he saw Junhoe crying, because of him. Junhoe's health was more important than anything right now.

 

" _We shouldn't be doing this Junhoe... not now. Yunhyeong will kill me if he sees you weeping like this. We will talk once you're out of the hospital, alright?_ "

 

Junhoe felt a tinge of disappointment when Bobby quickly himself away, but he knew the most important thing right now was to get plenty of rest and be discharged. Junhoe nodded his head in reply.

 

_"Promise?"_

 

_"I am a man of my word, Junhoe. Now, rest up. I will get you some fruits, your mum bought a whole basket of them earlier."_

 

Junhoe rolled his eyes. _"You mean you're hungry."_

 

_"I guess you're feeling better now since you're back to rolling your eyes at me."_

 

_"Hah, very funny."_

 

_"I must be crazy and I hate to admit this but I do miss seeing your eye rolls."_

 

A wide smile formed on Junhoe's face.

 

From outside the ward, Hanbin peeped his head in to see two boys munching away happily on red apple slices. He smiled, things seemed to be progressing smoothly for them and all they needed to do now was to find a suitable donor for Junhoe. He knew Bobby would never get rid of the idea of risking his life and donating his liver to Junhoe, unless they found one soon. Not wanting to disturb their long-awaited moment with each other after all these years, Hanbin rejoined Yunhyeong at the bench. His turn to visit Junhoe could wait, nothing was more important than Bobby and Junhoe getting back to their usual, happy selves again.


	16. Breaking The Barrier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Junhoe discuss about Jinhwan for the first time, and Bobby doesn't react too well to it.

The duo saw a familiar tiny figure approaching from afar.

 

_"Jinhwan hyung?"_

 

_"Did you ask him to come?"_

 

_"No.. I was about to ask you the same thing!"_

 

_"Bobby hyung?"_

 

_"I guess so. I hope we won't be awkward..."_

 

Jinhwan was in full view in no time, they were clearly not mistaken. He waved to the both of them first and the duo returned the greeting in unison.

 

_"Hyung."_

 

_"Hi.. I was told that Junhoe had a relapse. I came to see him. How is he?"_

 

 _"Junhoe is now conscious and resting, he seems to be better now but the doctor says he requires plenty of rest and they still need to conduct some more checks on him. Bobby is currently inside the ward with Junhoe, I'll ask him to switch with you. Only one visitor is allowed at a time_."

 

Jinhwan raised his eyebrows a little. He was sitll skeptical about the recent events that unfolded, the truth of Bobby and Junhoe being ex-lovers hit him so hard it had not quite sunk in yet. Nevertheless, he was relieved to hear that Junhoe was better.

 

_"It is alright, I can wait.."_

 

_"No, no. It is fine, Bobby has been in there for a long time already..."_

 

_"I need to discuss with Bobby hyung about the transplant anyway."_

 

_"Transplant? What transplant??"_

 

_"Junhoe may need a liver transplant."_

 

_"So Bobby.... Wait, live donor transplant?!?"_

 

Hanbin nodded.  _The doctor said that the waiting list is about 2 months..."_

 

_"It is not confirmed yet, the doctors have not come to a conclusion as there are more checks undone. Let's just look on the bright side first until there is an affirmation, ok? I'll go get Bobby now."_

 

 

\---

 

 

_"By the way... I told Jinhwan hyung about you being hospitalised."_

 

_"Oh... how.. how did he.. was he..."_

 

_"He took the first flight out to Seoul, he should be here anytime now. I thought you would want to see him. Hanbin mentioned he helped you alot before."_

 

_"Hanbin hyung? He told you about Jinhwan hyung?"_

 

_"Yes, everything."_

 

Junhoe looked at Bobby, who suddenly reverted to his serious self. Bobby was no longer looking at him but just staring at the window across the bed. Jinhwan was a sensitive topic to Bobby, he could sense that. But, Junhoe knew he had to break this barrier and clear things up before Bobby and him could move on.

 

_"I.. I'm sorry. Jinhwan hyung, he.... he really did help me out when I was in depression. He was really patient with me... Our characters match well and... we got close. He....."_

 

_"Junhoe, you don't have to explain anything. It's your life and your decision, I totally respect that. I get it."_

 

Junhoe felt hard-pressed at the bitter tone in Bobby's reply, he was never good with words and at expressing himself clearly.  _How was he going to explain that he had always loved Bobby and had never stopped loving him? How Bobby was always on his mind whenever he went on dates with Jinhwan? How he had abstained from chocolate cakes the past years because the memory from that night was too painful to bear? Jinhwan was the past now and Bobby was his future. At least, that was what he wanted now._

 

 _"Bobby! Jinhwan hyung is here..."_ Yunhyeong stopped in his tracks to see Bobby sullenly pouting in his chair, the atmosphere a little tense _. Didn't Hanbin say they were on good terms again? Did he just interrupted something important? Sigh. Those two are so challenging._

 

Bobby was on his feet and walked towards the door before Junhoe could reach out his hand in protest to ask Bobby to stay a little longer. _"I was about to leave, tell him to come in."_


	17. An Old Diary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan has been secretly reading Junhoe's old poems without his knowledge.

_Title: How_  
  
_How could I have said no that easily_  
_I never wanted to end it so readily_  
_How could I have left you crying_  
_When you never saw that coming_  
_How can I return to the past_  
_And find a way to make us last_  
_How can I take away all your pain_  
_So that I can hold your hand again_

  
_Title: Remember_

 _I remember how we lived blissfully_  
_When we were each other's entirety_  
_I still remember your warmth and embrace_  
_Like rays radiating from your sparkling eyes and face_  
_I want to remember us as never being apart_  
_Linking hands promising till death do we part_

Jinhwan closed the tattered diary, he felt guilty for prying into Junhoe's old boxes in the storeroom again. He knew he shouldn't be reading them without Junhoe's knowledge, but the old poems in Junhoe's diary always left him intrigued and questioning. _Were the poems about his past relationships?_ His intuition was usually right. However, he never had the chance to find out as Junhoe always cleanly avoided any questions about his past relationships, saying that they should focus on the present and treasure what they had right now.

 

 

\---

 

 

Jinhwan looked at the worn-out diary that fell from the backpack he was unpacking. _Oh right, the diary._ He wanted to finish reading all the poems but Junhoe had returned home early that day and so he hid it in his bag. He had totally forgotten about it.

 

The buzzing of his handphone distracted Jinhwan from his train of thoughts. _Bobby? Why is he messaging m_ e? He read Bobby's messages in alarm.

 

_I heard you guys broke up yesterday and I know this is extremely selfish of me, but I do hope you will pay Junhoe a visit if you can at the hospital._

_He had a relapse, he hasn't had it for 2 years now. Hanbin just told me about his condition, and that you weren't aware of it either._

_I understand that you are feeling hurt and betrayed. I apologise for not telling you about our relationship either, but everything was in the past. The doctor said that Junhoe's vitals aren't looking good, I will explain to you everything when you get here. Please, hyung._

 

Jinhwan swallowed hard at Bobby's last message.  _Junhoe was perfectly fine yesterday, what on earth happened to him?! What is this condition that Bobby is speaking of??_ Jinhwan kicked the table in anger, his mind too focused on Junhoe to bother about the writhing pain on his leg. He hated Junhoe for keeping so many secrets from him, but could not help feeling worried for him. Jinhwan began repacking the belongings he had unpacked into his backpack, he had to catch the first flight to Seoul. 

  
_"Mum! I need to be back in Seoul for something urgent!"_  
  
  
_"Son? You just got back yesterday!"_  
  
  
_"I know mum, but this is really urgent. I got to see Junhoe, he is hospitalised!"_  
  
  
_"Junhoe? The guy you broke up with??"_  
  
  
_"Yes.. It is a long story, I will call and explain to you when I reach Seoul!"_  
  
  
_"Sigh. There is no stopping you son. Send my regards to Junhoe, I will keep him in my prayers. I hope everything will work out for you two..."_  
  
  
_"MUM! I told you he has Bobby!"_  
  
  
_"Alright, alright. I will not mention it again as promised. Be safe."_

 

Jinhwan sent his last message out to Bobby and hastily stuffed a set of clothes into his bag. _What else do I need? Why do I feel like I'm missing something?_  Jinhwan scanned the room a last time and spotted Junhoe's diary. _Right, the diary._ Jinhwan carefully placed the diary in his backpack, he should return it to its rightful owner.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I previously mentioned (Once? Or a few times? I can't exactly recall...) Junhoe and his poems so I thought why not have an insight of his old poems which show his longing for Bobby...
> 
> I was inspired by Eric Chou's "What's Wrong" and "At Least I Remember" for the first and second poem respectively, the lyrics for both songs were really sad...


	18. Not A Burden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinhwan tells Junhoe that he is definitely not a burden.

_"Hyung, thank you for coming."_

 

_"Thank Bobby, he asked me to come."_

 

_"Still.. you came. Despite our breakup. Thank you."_

 

Jinhwan did not reply, but started digging into his backpack instead and handed the diary back to Junhoe.

 

_"My diary!?!"_

 

_"Yes, I was tidying up the storeroom when I saw this."_

 

An alarmed Junhoe grabbed the worn out diary from Jinhwan, hands shaking. He had kept the old diary locked up on purpose in hope that the painful memories would also be stored away.

 

_"Erm... Did... Did you....." his voice was also shaking._

 

 _"Relax, I only glanced through one or two of your poems."_ Jinhwan answered truthfully.

 

Junhoe looked down at the diary in his hands, unsure of how he should respond to Jinhwan's direct responses.

 

_"Bobby, right?"_

 

Junhoe looked up and caught sight of Jinhwan's deadpan face. _No more hiding, no more running, Koo Jun Hoe._

 

_"Yes, you are right."_

 

_"You never stopped loving him?"_

 

 _"Never."_ Junhoe surprised himself at how fast and firm his reply was.

 

_"Were we real?"_

 

_"Of course! Hyung--"_

 

 _"Then that is all that matters."_ Jinhwan cut him off abruptly. _"How are you feeling?"_

 

_"Much, much better."_

 

_"So, this condition of yours... Bobby did not know either?"_

 

_"No, and it was my fault for concealing it from both of you. I am truly sorry."_

 

_"It is time you learned to share your burden and worries with the people whom you love and love you. You are blessed with so many good friends around you... Yunhyeong and Hanbin look really tired and worried when I arrived, they must have pulled an all-nighter."_

 

_"I do not want to be a burden to them."_

 

_"What about Bobby?"_

 

 _"He.. Maybe he is better off without me."_ Junhoe pointed as his body.

 

 _"Excuses. Ask yourself Junhoe, what does your heart really say? This is not the bold Junhoe I know."_ Jinhwan gave him a long look, almost too sternly.

 

Junhoe paused. He had been putting up a brave front the entire morning, knowing that a transplant was needed sooner or later.

 

_"I am afraid, hyung."_

 

Jinhwan's expression softened. Junhoe was never afraid of anything, apart from his fear of water and heights. Junhoe was a loud character, blunt at times but kind at heart, caring silently for the people around him. He was always game to take on new challenges and determined to see to the end of something once he started it.

 

 _"Your first poem, read it."_ Jinhwan pointed to the diary in Junhoe's hands.

 

" _Why?_ " Junhoe was clearly puzzled.

 

"To remind yourself what you really want, deep down in your heart."

 

Junhoe cautiously flipped to the first poem.

 

 _How can I return to the past_  
_And find a way to make us last_

 

Junhoe's heart sank, he recalled the day he wrote that poem. It was the very same day Bobby that left for the US, he would never forget that day.

 

_"Why are you doing this?"_

 

_"Because I care for you, because you are not a burden."_

 

Junhoe grabbed the sheets with his fists, he hated himself for being like this, he hated himself for being a coward. Jinhwan had always been the one to pull him together, spoke the right words at the right time. To Jinhwan's surprise, Junhoe pulled him suddenly and embraced him with a grateful hug.

 

" _Heyyy! Save that for Bobby, alright?_ " Jinhwan jokingly brushed Junhoe off.

 

" _Thank you, hyung. You are the best, as always._ " Junhoe flashed his widest smile at Jinhwan.

 

_"Well, our smiley Junhoe is back!"_

 

_"Please call Bobby hyung back in, would you? I have some unfinished business with him."_

 

_"Right on it."_

 

Jinhwan headed to the door, his heart surprisingly light. He had been partially dreading meeting Junhoe today again, afraid that he would act up but the lingering feelings towards Junhoe was gone. Their conversation was one between pure friends, just like the good old days. Jinhwan turned back to Junhoe before exiting the ward. 

 

" _Good luck._ " 


	19. Just A Kiss

" _You should be resting._ " Bobby sighed as he took the seat on the chair by Junhoe's bed again.

 

Junhoe said nothing and simply reached out to hold Bobby's hands in his.

 

_"Wh.... what are you doing?"_

 

Junhoe placed one finger on Bobby's lips, indicating for him to maintain his silence whilst his intense eyes met with Bobby's.

 

 _I can do this_. Junhoe inhaled deeply.

 

_"I love you."_

 

Bobby was taken aback by Junhoe's unexpected confession. He could not recall when was the last time he heard those three words from Junhoe, he must be really sick.

 

 _"Junhoe, are you feeling unwell?? Should I call in the nurse for you?_ " Bobby attempted to get up from his chair but Junhoe held him down firmly.

 

_"Do you not understand? I love you, Bobby hyung."_

 

Bobby searched Junhoe's eyes questioningly but all he saw was warmth and sincerity. _Junhoe.... he meant it._

 

_"What about Jinhwan hyung?"_

 

_"We have broken up."_

 

_"Is that what he thinks? I have seen the way he looks at you, Junhoe. He cares for you, everyone can see how much Jinhwan hyung loves you."_

 

 _"We are over, hyung. We have talked about it... Also, it doesn't matter what he thinks! I only care about what you think!!"_ Junhoe exclaimed, almost in a shout.

 

Bobby stared at Junhoe, trying hard to process the current situation. He had envisioned the day Junhoe would accept and love him once again, but it just felt so surreal now that it was happening. There was no way he would let go of Junhoe again.

 

Bobby leaned in so closed and before they knew it their noses touched. Junhoe tensed up at Bobby's sudden approach but did not pull apart. He closed his eyes instinctively as Bobby cupped Junhoe's chin with one hand, tilted his head up slightly and planted a soft kiss on Junhoe's lips delicately. Junhoe opened his eyes and looked at Bobby who whispered gently " _I love you too_ ". Bobby ran his fingers through Junhoe's black hair.

 

_"How are you always this sexy?"_

 

Junhoe smirked as he wrapped his arms around Bobby's waist, pulling him so close that Bobby was almost lying on top of him. Junhoe returned the kiss, with more pressure this time.

 

_"I missed you so much, hyung."_

 

" _Me too._ "

 

Bobby's fingers fumbled to unbutton Junhoe's hospital patient uniform top with his lips still tightly glued to Junhoe's. In no time at all, Bobby's hand was on Junhoe's bare chest, teasing and circling his hardening nipples. 

 

A sudden knock on the door got them both so startled it broke their kiss.

 

" _Jun---what on earth!? Bobby, get off Junhoe now!! He is a patient, for God's sake!!_ " Yunhyeong hurriedly shooed Bobby who was literally sprawled on top of Junhoe.

 

Junhoe rolled his eyes. _Why was this hyung always so bad with timings? He had just ruined their moment._

 

" _Can't you see we are busy?_ " Bobby snarled.

 

" _I am glad to know my dear friends are getting along well again but this is really not the time to be making out! You should let Junhoe rest_." Yunhyeong chided Bobby sternly.

 

_"Making out?? It was just a kiss which you so brazenly interrupted!"_

 

_"Just a kiss? What kind of kiss requires you to lie on top of a topless patient??"_

 

 _"Guys, please stop arguing. Can we just have some peace and quiet?_ " Jinhwan entered the room after Yunhyeong, looking as solemn.

 

" _Yunhyeong hyung, take it easy... I'm perfectly fine!_ " Junhoe's cheeks flushed red.

 

_"Oh shut up, give us a break. Why are guys in here anyway? I thought we were only allowed in one at a time?"_

 

A grave looking Hanbin walked in last with what looked like reluctant footsteps. He looked straight at Bobby, who needed no further words to know what Hanbin meant. 

 

_Shit._


	20. Bobby's Decision

_"We have just completed all checks on the patient and the results are out. He may be discharged today but unfortunately, the results do not seem too positive and I highly recommend a liver transplant to be done as soon as possible. Chances of the patient suffering from another relapse is in the low-mid range but this would worsen if he does not undergo a liver transplant."_

 

The faces of the trio outside sank, this was the exact opposite of what they had been hoping for.

 

_"The patient's family will be back soon in an hour for lunch, we will inform and let them know."_

 

_"I will return later and we can discuss on the arrangements for a liver transplant. Meanwhile, your are free to visit the patient. However, please keep in mind not to agitate him and ensure that he gets plenty of rest."_

 

The trio nodded in unison. Jinhwan and Yunhyeong still unable to say a word.

 

_"Thank you, doctor."_

 

The doctor bade goodbye and Hanbin snapped his fingers at Jinhwan and Yunhyeong, who were standing in a daze.

 

_"Bobby hyung...."_

 

_"There is no stopping him, Hanbin. It is his decision and we should respect it."_

 

_"What about you, Jinhwan hyung? What do you think about a living donor transplant?"_

 

_"I.. I got to agree with Yunhyeong. Let Bobby decide."_

 

 _I would have done it for Junhoe as well, if I were in Bobby's shoes_. Jinhwan thought to himself.

 

" _Let's go in, the doctor said we can all visit Junhoe_." Yunhyeong headed for the ward with Jinhwan following closely behind.

 

 _Sigh_. Hanbin heard about the increased complexity and risks of complications for a live donor liver tansplant, that the complications could even escalate to death in the worst case scenario. But the hyungs were right, it was Bobby's decision to make if he decided to donate a part of his liver. _How brave of him...._

 

He followed after Jinhwan and Yunhyeong with heavy steps.

 

  
\---

 

  
" _I.. I need the washroom. Anyone?_ " Bobby signalled for Hanbin to follow him out.

 

_"Oh.. me."_

 

" _We will be back_." Bobby nodded reassuringly at Junhoe.

 

Junhoe smiled as Bobby and Hanbin left the ward. Jinhwan and Yunhyeong looked at a happy Junhoe with heavy hearts. They could not bear to break the news to Junhoe, nor his family.

 

" _Junhoe... the doctor said you can be discharged today_." Yunhyeong spoke with caution.

 

_"Greattt! I was thinking of taking a walk and getting some fresh air, it was starting to get stuffy in here."_

 

_"The doctor said to rest. You need plenty of it."_

 

_"I will prepare some double-boiled chicken soup for you and head to your place this evening."_

 

_"Fine, fine. I will stay at home. Yunhyeong hyung, that is not necessary..."_

 

_"I insist."_

 

  
\---

 

_"Where are you going??"_

 

_"Admissions counter, I am going to register myself as a liver transplant donor."_

 

_"Hyung.. think twice, would you? The risk is high and if there are any complications..."_

 

_"What exactly did the doctor say?"_

 

_"Junhoe should get a liver transplant as soon as possible.. but-"_

 

_"There are no 'but's then, Hanbin."_

 

_"We could check the list of deceased donors."_

 

_"There is no time to waste, every minute now is precious. I am aware of the complications but I do not wish to see Junhoe collapsing in front of me again!"_

 

_"You have thought through it clearly, right?"_

 

_"Stop nagging, Hanbin. I know you mean well, but this I cannot yield."_

 

Hanbin sighed again as Bobby booked the earliest appointment slot available to check his donor compatability.

 

_"This afternoon?"_

 

_"Yes, we will also know the reults tonight."_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not forget Chanwoo.. he will be at the hospital just like how he promised Bobby... in the next chapter............


End file.
